We ALL feel it…
That little pang in your gut when the girl 10 years your junior opens her mouth to sing and her voice is everything yours isn’t.
The tiny sinking sensation you try to suppress when you read about that “unknown” worship leader who is all of a sudden very “known”.
Even that urge to run and find a hole to crawl into when you see THAT mom. You know the one. The one with her super cute hair, super cute (clean) kids, her super cute punctuality, and her super cute, itty-bitty handbag.
I’m right there with you, ladies. We want to be happy for them. We really, really do. But that ugly COMPARISON trap keeps sneaking up on us. If we’re not careful, it can suck the life right out of our ministry, our wife/mommy roles, and our dreams.
Unfortunately, I don’t think the comparison trap is something we overcome. I think it’s something we will continually battle. But let’s talk about the root of the problem before we make our battle plan. The enemy. Satan loves to wedge his way into our hearts and minds. His lies about our beauty and worth steel the joy and peace that are rightfully ours in Christ. When we choose to listen to those lies about our value… our uselessness… our worth, those comparison thoughts creep in. Spending our thought time comparing ourselves to others does not help us become the confident, God-centered Worship Leaders we are meant to be. Our “woe is me” attitude, by no means, can bring glory to God. And if I may, let’s go one step further. If our identity is found in what we have, or our fame, or our makeup regime, then do we really believe God when he said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? Do we really believe it when we say things like, “God has me right where he wants me.”?
I’m not sure we do.
So let’s go to battle, girls. How? God’s word. The word is the only offensive weapon against the enemy. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty awesome to me.
Now that we have our weapon, let’s talk about how we can use it practically. Our feelings are not reliable (Jer. 17:9.) So we need to fight for a sound, transformed mind. We get to CHOOSE what will captivate our minds. Here are things we can do every day:
- Memorize scripture. Pick a new memory verse every Monday. Spend the week intentionally committing it to memory. There are even apps out there to help you!
- Every time you feel a comparison coming on, pray for that person. And pray for yourself instead of tearing yourself down in your mind.
- Sing songs of praise, even just to yourself, when the lies start popping up. My go-to songs right now are “The Heart of Worship” and “Not To Us”. I sing them whenever I’m having a “I need to worship Jesus right now” moment. (Side note: These songs are not even in our song rotation at church anymore. They are just good for me personally.)
- Write down some of God’s promises that you need to read every single day. Recite them over and over again. Make them your personal mantras, so to speak. Hang them up on your mirror. Keep a copy in your purse. Put a copy up in the green room at your church. Whatever it takes!
Here’s what mine looks like:
My fellow Worship Leaders/mommas/wives/girlfriends, it’s not my success vs. yours. It’s not your voice vs. mine. It’s not my momma style vs. your momma style.
I don’t want to be stuck in the comparison trap.
Let’s. Fight. Back.